From Captain Don Diego, of Fictional Reimagined

The Captain's Hard Winter Handbook

38 winter fixes that keep the house warm, the pipes whole, the pantry full and everybody safe when the cold comes and the power goes. Every one checked against an official safety source, quoted word for word.

One payment: $27. Yours to keep.

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The Captain's Hard Winter Handbook cover

What winter actually costs people

Most winter trouble isn't the snow. It's the little heater by the bed, the generator in the garage, the pipe behind the washing machine, and the fridge full of food nobody knew whether to keep. These numbers come from the agencies that count them:

41%of deadly home heating fires come from portable space heaters, though they cause only 3% of heating fires.U.S. Fire Administration, usfa.fema.gov

400+Americans die every year from carbon monoxide poisoning not linked to fires. It has no smell and no color.CDC, cdc.gov/carbon-monoxide

4 hoursis how long your fridge keeps food safe without power. A full freezer: about 48.FoodSafety.gov / USDA

30 minutesto frostbite on bare skin at 0°F with a 15 mph wind.National Weather Service, weather.gov

Things nobody ever told you

None of this is complicated. It's just never been written down in one place, in big print, by somebody who talks like a person instead of a pamphlet. A few of the fixes inside:

Leave the outside spigot OPEN in winter. Close the valve inside the house, then open the one outside, so the leftover water has room to expand instead of splitting the pipe.American Red Cross

A quarter inch of newspaper protects a pipe. Where hard freezes are rare, wrapping exposed pipes in newspaper gives real protection.American Red Cross

Hard cheese and butter survive a blackout. So do peanut butter, uncut fruit and bread. Eggs, milk and leftovers don't. The book has the whole keep-or-toss list.FoodSafety.gov / USDA

You can get hypothermia above 40°F. Rain, sweat or a cold soak is enough, and the cold clouds the very judgment you'd need to notice it.CDC

Never thaw a frozen pipe with a torch. A hair dryer, a heating pad or hot towels, with the faucet left open. Here's the safe way, step by step.American Red Cross

What's inside

Before the Cold Comes. The three warnings, drafts, the CO alarm that matters most, the yearly checkup, help with the heating bill, the car kit.
Keeping the Pipes Alive. Which pipes freeze first, the spigot trick, cheap wrapping, the drip, and how to thaw a pipe without burning the house down.
Heat Without Fire or Poison. The three-foot rule, space heaters, why the oven is not a furnace, generators, charcoal and camp stoves, and what CO poisoning feels like.
Keeping Your Own Body Warm. Layers, the wind, hypothermia above freezing, the early signs, warming the middle first, frostbite, and the shovel.
When the Power Goes Out. The list of what needs electricity, medicine, the fridge and freezer clock, the 40-degree rule, what you can keep, refreezing, surges, warming centers.
Water and The Pantry That Gets You Through.
From the Stories: What's Real. The bits from my stories that hold up in real life, like the glowing-water rule for shellfish.
Pantry Suppers. Ten simple meals from the shelf, four of them with no cooking at all, including Missus Peaches' no-bake cobbler.

Here's what you get

The Captain's Hard Winter Handbook: 47 large-print pages, 38 fixes, 77 quotes from official safety sources.
Bonus 1: Get the House Ready in One Saturday. A morning-and-afternoon checklist you can tick off with a pencil.
Bonus 2: The Winter Pantry List. What to keep on the shelf, ready to take to the store.
Bonus 3: The Winter Ledger. Pages to fill in once: emergency numbers, medicines, where the water shutoff is, who checks on whom.
Free updates. When I add fixes, you get the new edition at no charge.

One payment: $27. No subscription. Yours to keep.

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Who wrote this

Captain Don Diego is the name I've gone by for years. On the Fictional Reimagined channel I tell long stories about castaways, mechanics, widows and dragons, and the old captain telling them is the role I play there. The stories are made up.

But after every story, your letters came in. How did she keep water? How did Hettie save the pipes that winter? And then you'd tell me about your own hard winters. So I wrote down what actually works, and I didn't trust my own memory for any of it. Every fix has the official source printed right under it, word for word, so you never have to take an old captain's word for anything.

The stories are invented. The methods are not.

Questions folks ask

Is this a printed book?

It's a PDF you download right after you buy. Read it on your phone, tablet or computer, or print it at home or at the library. It's set in large print on purpose.

I'm not handy. Is this for me?

Yes. Most fixes take a towel, a roll of tape, a jug of water or a phone call. Anything that needs a professional, the book tells you so.

Does it work where I live?

It's written for American homes facing winter cold and power outages, from the national guidance of the Red Cross, CDC, Ready.gov, the Weather Service, the Fire Administration and the USDA. Always follow your local officials first.

Is this medical advice?

No. It's general safety information from public sources. In an emergency, call 911, and follow your doctor about medicines.

Is the Captain a real captain?

Captain Don Diego is the pen name I've used for years, and the stories on the channel are fiction. The safety methods in this book are real, and each one is sourced.

What if it's not for me?

Write within 30 days and you get your money back.

Read it once when the weather's nice

Then keep it in the kitchen drawer with the flashlight. The night you need it, you'll be glad it's there.

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P.S. If you only do one thing this winter, put a battery carbon monoxide alarm near every bed. That one's free advice, and it's the first fix in the book.